Observation, Not Creation
“Practice is about observation, not creation.”
Those words popped into my head today while I was in padangustasana. I don’t know if I heard them somewhere, or if they were my original creation, but they resonated throughout my practice.
I observed my sluggish body instead of trying to force, or create, a version of the posture that wasn’t there.
I observed my scattered mind instead of trying to create a serene one.
I observed my tendency to judge myself harshly instead of shooing it away.
I don’t know that I’ll be able to do that every practice. Tomorrow is a new day and will bring its own challenges and choices. And honestly, I don’t know if that’s even the right choice for every day. Perhaps there is a time when it’s appropriate to be more goal-oriented on the mat. All I know is that this practice had a certain peace that I haven’t felt in awhile. Acceptance, surrender, patience, and compassion were all present in high doses. It felt like I was on to something.
There are a million reasons I could come up with to explain why this happened today of all days, e.g. it was my first practice at home after time spent with my teacher, etc. But, in the spirit of not overthinking, I'll just let it be what it is.
A girl could get used to that.